what a christmas present

what. i was transfered. literally what is this. SIX WEEKS IN JARDIM DO HORTO AND IM LEAVING WHAT THE HECK PRES.

ok. I'm sure theres some wise purpose in all of this. Also I'm not fancy enough to stay in this fancy area I'm heading to an area thats like all the others I've worked in so thats ok. Also the neighboring area is MY CHILD SISTER GANUZA im very ok with that very much i will see her all the time this is great. 

what else happened this week? skype happened. so like. my family knows im alive

they complained that i never say my companions name ITS BECAUSE IT CHANGES SO FAST I FORGET LITERALLY IN 15 MONTHS I HAVE HAD 14 COMPANIONS so yeah but my new companion is Sister Rocha which means rock so thats cool. I think she's from São Paulo but im not sure i dont remember but tomorrow when i meet up with her I'll ask ne? yeah. it'll be a good time..

literally i dont know what else to say like you know what happened this week NOTHING because there were a million things to do so we didnt work

EXCEPT THAT WE DID BECAUSE CELIA GOT BAPTIZED AND THAT WAS SUPER COOL. she was so excited!! her husband is inactive, right? and he's always like "well my filosofia is different now so i wont go to church" but then he comes because celia is coming and its hilarious because very clearly she is his weak spot. also he's coming around. he was super excited for her baptism but didnt want to admit it hehehe

yeah thats basically my life i guess idk emailing after skype is always super hard love you all i promise i just used all my words yesterday with my family

a less spiritual kind of email

oh my goodness. why. literally. why.

I'm literally still so embarrassed and yet im going to tell all of you this horrible thing that happened to me so I guess I'm not that embarrassed. Except that I am. 

So we were teaching this inactive member that promised he would go to church and then he didnt LIAR but its ok i forgive him because look what I did. I went to use the bathroom. And the toilet like, broke. Like. didnt flush. and like. that was a serious problem.

I have no idea what he did afterwards like, thankfully I think someone cleans his studio so at least...no thats not even any better the lady will think it was him...idk man that was not a good moment.

what else happened this week? I LOST ALL MY MONEY #responsible. I think I lost it on the bus. 200 reais. thats literally a month of food and transport. how. why.

what else? literally I dont remember anything about this week except that I made brownies and also cookies to give to people at the CHRISTMAS CONFERENCE TOMORROW because I wanna be a cool mom/grandma for my children right? Sister Ganuza's "child" was like "sister steele is my grandma not the first trainer" and i was like "YES" and she said "well, i mean, it'd be nice to have two grandmas right, double the presentes?" so I have to keep her on my team DOWN WITH SISTER CUSTODIO I AM SISTER GANUZA'S MOM so im making her cookies.

WE GOT OUR WASHING MACHINE BACK YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THAT MADE ME MISSIONARIES DO NOT HAVE THE TIME NOR THE ENERGY TO WASH ALL OUR CLOTHES BY HAND.

Also this week there was a sister who was like, super stressed out and maybe depressed? idk I was worried. she stopped taking showers? And like taking showers is very important we are in brazil its super hot and after like 4 days wow there was a smell you know? so naturally I was worried and I sent an email to president and now every time I talk to him and something's gone wrong (losing money, changes with meetings, meetings going too late for us to eat) he's like "sister shhhhhh calm down dont get stressed out and PLEASE dont stop taking showers" and I'm like "pres por favor you can trust me i like showers." and he's just like "good. continue" 

I love my President he's ridiculous sometimes.

also there's a lady in our ward who frequently tells me and my companion "when you go home i want you to go find donald trump and tell him that theres a lady in maceio brasil that hates him and wants him to die any day now" like, every time she sees us she's just like "wow these truly are the later days HE CAN DIE ANY DAY HE WANTS TO YOU TELL HIM SISTER YOU TELL HIM" and I never know exactly what to say. This week was "wow I'm so disapointed in the american members of the church UTAH VOTED FOR THE DEVIL HAVE THEY LOST THEIR MINDS" and I always have to calmly explain that a) we missionaries do not speak about politics and b) I do not personally know Donald Trump nem Hillary Clinton

I know I'm forgetting something super funny that happened this week but I cannot remember anything literally what did I do this week idk I havent slept all week

Next week I say spiritual things. MERRY CHRISTMAS

The Gift of Tongues, feijoada, and an exmormon of 40 years at church

YO WHATS UP GUYS

So this week was super cool. First of all there was a transmission with the area presidency of brasil this week, and we heard from Elder Costa (Argentinan) who spoke in portuguese and Elder Costa (brazilian) and Sister Cordon from the primary presidency WHO IS FLUENT IN PORTUGUESE PLOT TWIST and it was super funny because literally all of them (well, other than the brazilian) were like "hey brasil is cool but like why do you guys eat cow intestines thats just not needed im sorry" and i was like "I feel you man. I feel you." 

The first guy who spoke who I cannot remember his name, spoke a lot about how Satan wants to distract us from our divine potential and wants us to not believe in ourselves. Also he left us a little burn (ok. this sounds super weird. but like. it makes sense right? he burned us? idk man. idk.) saying that the lord wants us to be righteous, and not just look righteous. our words and actions need to be the same, and need to be in line with our beliefs. He gave the example of moses when satan tried to tempt him, moses was like "dude who do you think you are, im a son of god." which i thought was funny but also true, like, when Satan tells you you're nothing just be like "dude im literally royalty and what are you God kicked you out"

wow this email isnt super professional. oh well.

Then Sister Cordon talked a lot about "se você quiser morangos, tem que plantar morangos" which is if you want strawberries, you have to plant strawberries. Well ok she didnt talk about strawberries, it was just an example. but she talked a lot about how we need to plant what we want to harvest, and we need to plant it NOW. If you want a testimony of the restored gospel, you have to plant the seeds NOW reading the scriptures, saying your prayers and the like. and you need to have pacience because strawberries dont grow overnight.

Elder Costa from argentina spoke about the sabath and how we need to notice the small miracles in the sabath and appreciate it in its fullest. also he told us to obey transit laws. i think he struggles with this.

Elder Costa from Brasil talked alot about how faith=action. that if you dont act on what you believe, its because you dont believe.

and finally ELDER HOLLAND SPOKE IN PORTUGUESE WHAT. jk. he spoke very little in portuguese and it was very hard to understand which was very funny. I was shocked! He spoke a little and then was like "alright im gonna ask that the translater help me out here because my portuguese is truly awful" and it was hilarious. But yes. So he spoke a lot about how we never know if we'll see the fruits of our labors but it doesnt matter. Brigham young building the salt lake temple after a million failed attempts to mantain said (kind of. im translating, you know how it is) "i don't worry about tomorrow anymore. maybe i'll never see this temple. maybe none of us will. maybe it'll be taken away from us again. but what i worry about is that im doing what god asks of my hands." and it was GREAT. really, lots of the time we wont see the fruits of our labor but it doesnt matter, someone has to do it. in the mission field lots of the time someoen else will harvest what you planted, but couldnt do it if you didnt plant it. so it doesnt matter if we get transfered or not. we have to work.

i thought it was so cool that he tried to speak portuguese. at the end he bore a super simple but powerful testimony in portuguese saying that he knows that this is gods church and that joseph smith was a profet and that he loves the people of brazil, and it was way more powerful in his own voice with his super broken portuguese. you could feel how much he really loves the people he serves, and how much he wants to be able to talk to them without a translater, and he's learning a little at a time.

then the last prayer, the kid just got back from argentina and he speaks a weird mix of portuguese and spanish

so basically the gift of tongues is real because all of understood all of these talks with super thick accents.

AND ROBERTO CAME. Roberto has been inactive for like all of his life but now his wife wants to be baptized and he's resisting but he's not managing hahaha. He drinks and smokes so I think he's spent his whole life looking for something easier, but with us coming to teach his wife he's feeling the spirit again and HE CAME TO CHURCH. HE SAID HE WOULDNT BUT HE CAME. literally this made me so happy.

in other news this week i learned the words to la cucaracha. my peruan companian taught me and i understood the words because #ispeakspanish #justkiddinbutimlearningalittlewithher literally the song just says the cochroach cant walk because its missing a leg. why is this song so happy?

TIME IS ALREADY UP OH MY GOODNESS

maybe i should start sending letters i no longer have time to write emails with lots of things NO ONE WAS BEING OBEDIENT AND PRESIDENT CUT OUR TIME AGAIN THERE IS NO TIME TO DO ANYTHING EVER NOW. ok bye next week i PROMISE I WILL WRITE AN OUTLINE BEFORE HAND AND I WILL TELL YOU GUYS ALL THE THINGS

but for now be satisfied with the fact that plot twist im not NEAR teh presidents ward, im IN IT. so thats fun. he lives close by. terrifying. pray for me.

YOU CAN SEE MIRACLES IF YOU BELIEVE

is that how that music goes? I don't remember. That music from that animated film about moses?? You know what I'm talking about.

SO. EVERYTHING I WANT TO TELL YOU TODAY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR AREA

I AM VERY EXCITED

REMEMBER JESSICA? DOES ANYONE REMEMBER JESSICA? THE GIRL IN SANTOS DUMONT THAT I SAID WAS THE PERFECT INVESTIGATOR EVER???

ALRight well she's that girl that we found because of the whole Rafael mess, which was hilarious, and me and sister ganuza were heartbroken when her mom didnt let her be baptized. Like, when we came back after we gave her a book of mormon, she'd already read A TON and it was all highlighted and she said "I was marking the things that were most touching but i ended up marking everything because everything is so good!!" and all of a sudden she was happy and healthy and stopped doing things that 14 year old girls should not do and it was insane because we had barely even taught her anything and she just started CHANGING.

Basically, that was when I learned that the book of mormon changes people better than anything else.

AND I HEARD SHE GOT BAPTIZED. HER MOM LET HER. LITERALLY I CRIED I WAS SO HAPPY.

Literally this is all I have to say (also our time got cut AGAIN so I'm almost out of time and still have to write president)

Do I look like a Trump fan?

Alriiiight. This week I don't have much to say like, spiritual or cool stories or teaching because we literally did not work this week. #lifeofanassasin (when your companion ends their mission you're their assasin you kill them and they die)

BUT I got transfered to Jardim do Horto (the chiquest ward there ever was im so afraid also idk the word chique like...fancy? no. its not fancy...idk.) with a girl who just barely finished training SO DUDE ARE WE GONNA WORK HARD THIS TRANSFER. ok. But I actually have no idea who is my companion. Either its an american who was already in the area, or its a brazillian who was not....so i might be opening the area #yikes #whereislunchidk #thiswillbeanadventure

BUT ok. What else can I say? I heard some things about my country oH WAIT LOTS OF THINGS ITS ALL I FREAKING HEAR ABOUT THIS WEEK. I've started telling people I'm Italian just so they stop asking me if I like Donald Trump and stop showing me the American Horror Story Donald Trump memes. Literally. Every single member has asked me what I think of Donald Trump and as a missionary, we're not supposed to talk about politics (I learned why when I almost started a fight with an american elder who is a super trump fan, jk i didnt start a fight but like we definitely argued for a good half hour during our district meeting on whether or not trump is an idiot...which was then followed byl my lz saying "wow steele, i could have sworn you were a trump fan, you look like the kind of person that would vote for trump" and I was just like ???

I think I'm not supposed to talk about politics in my emails either but like, I'm making an exception today because this entire situation is hilarious and also horrible. Clearly the 2nd coming is on its way because I think this election was a sign of the times.

anyway. what else happened this week? I got really good at solitaire while my companion packed her bags and went on a tour of the area to say goodbye to everyone...i bought all new shirts because I'm heading to an area super close to the president's area and its a chique area (what is this word i swear im not kidding) and all of my shirts were so ugly they all turned orange from sun screen SO yeah.

We painted a house this week! the three of us and our dl and his companion and it was of course, hilarious. How Thamires trusted us to paint her house I'll never know, but it all worked out. But the baby painted himself when we werent looking...

also plot twist this transfer the assistants to the president aRE SISTERS. This literally does not happen. Sister Mazetto (my 1st companion in santos dumont) is assistant to the president. what the heck??? there is also assistants elders. so. like. this is weird. but lots of things happened this transfer and i think president was like "oh my gosh im so done with all of you people im changing everything" because the lidership changed, and like almost everyone was transfered EVERYONE which is not normal and on top of it all, SISTER ASSISTANTS???? unheard of.

I think thats it. This was my week....woohoo....

Alright gente. I have 0 idea what to write to you guys this week.

Like, I've started this email like 7 times. 

This always happens. I always forget everything that we did this week.

BUT THERES ONE THING ok so miracles happened and THREE PEOPLE WERE BAPTIZED THIS WEEK. WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO. Two of them were just waiting for work stuff to work out so they could go on sunday again, and the other showed up out of no where on sunday after a while of not going and decided to be baptized. Truly everything happens in the timing of the lord. we cannot push anyone into the font, we can just lay down the path and hand them the towel.

I'll send pictures and stuff next week. And I'll say more things ( I say this every week I know) BUT THIS TIME REALLY I WILL. ILL MAKE AN OUTLINE. I've just been lazy and thought "oh I'll remember" and then I never do. I PROMISE.